Rxpe&molestation

[AleksandraStar]

I know not alot of people will want to talk about this,because for some of us its a touchy subject.And well i dont think alot of people will want to talk about their experience with both if it happened to them,i sure as hell dont want to.

But what are your thought on Rxpe and child sexual abuse?
What should people do,to get over the emotional and physical pain?
And what do you think is a good way to help a child (maybe age 6-12) deal with molestion?and the shock?

Note*(please do not just say "i hate it,its wrong",give some advise,or explain why?)

[Darren]

My friend was raped when she was little =/


Not a nice thing.



Call the police?

And therapy....lots and lots of therapy xD

[AleksandraStar]

turst me therapy doesnt help that much
people hate going to therapy so they just learn to agree with everything that therapist says,and they get out of there in a matter of three weeks

[Darren]

Well i guess it's just something they'll just have to live with =/

[AleksandraStar]

yes i guess so,
i think it is much harder on younger kids.Well duhh it is harder
but think that way it is also harder on the parents,especially if it happened to them to,i think my mom still blames herself.

[xAllie831x]

I have a really close friend that was raped at a bus stop when she was seven and is now HIV positive... When she told me, I almost cried and gave her a big hug.

Some things aren't fixable, and memories often don't fade or magically disappear... I'm guessing the best thing to do is to be there for a person, try to understand (in other words, don't give generic "that happened in the past you're strong" statements), and don't treat them any differently unless they want extra love or attention every once in a while...

Also, there is a lot of ignorance about this issue, especially if STDs or unwanted pregnancies are involved... Maybe show support for more education about the issue?

[AleksandraStar]

i like what you said Alllie
people always thing that someone gets STDs or HIV from the mistakes that they made.Nobody bother to find out the truth

[xAllie831x]

I know, it's sad. :(

I actually know a lot of people that were abused... I know the girl that now has HIV, another girl that was molested by her cousins, a boy that was beaten and almost raped, etc. I think the first step is to let people know that there is nothing to be ashamed of, and then to just be there for them... I mean, if I was in that position, I wouldn't want someone to start making jokes involving sex or STDS around me, but at the same time I wouldn't want to be "that poor girl everyone feels bad for". I guess the key is to just make sure their life goes on but also to make sure that reality isn't sugarcoated or cast in an (obviously fake) good light.

What type of situation are you dealing with, Aleksandra? (Not to sound nosey or egotistical but if you want to talk about anything feel free to message me.)

[AleksandraStar]

God what has this world come to,i think the rate is every 20th person has been raped or molested.or even more,this is so sad.

I guess sometime i have to come out with it,
i was molested for about more than 5 years
by someone everyone else trusted

[Amy]

Its always more likely to be someone you know.
I don't think it's something you can actually just TRY and fix. It's one of those things that just heals in time.
Counsellors and help lines are only there to help with the process, but you cant just fix your head in an instant.
Some people never get over it, some people do.
I think it depends on your approach when you've been a victim too. if you wallow around feeling sorry for yourself alot longer than what's expected you'll only make yourself feel worse and probably find you'll never fully trust anyone again, which would be a right shame. Others may hold their head up high and try and move on. Yes, okay, you cant just forget it, and noone expects you to, but i belive alot of stuff about healing is psychological. If you think positively about moving on, it'll be alot easier.

Personally, I believe that those who do sexually abuse anyone should be locked up for life, and probed repeatedly.

[AleksandraStar]

you see thats why i dont tell even my closest friends about this,people start to pitty me,and well they see me as a diffferent person,while this happened to me even before i meet them,so i am still the same person.And well i am more over it happnening than my friends are,they are still freaked,while..well im ok.I wish it didnt happen,because it changed my view on alot of different things,but because it did there is nothing i can do but try and forget about it.

[XDanielleX]

I sometimes think that it would be easier to be molested when you were really young than when you were older because then you wouldn't have such a sharp memory... But some things like that stay in the brain really clearly, so maybe not.
Then I sometimes think that it would be better if it happened when you were older because then you could deal with it better... But again, maybe not.
I think it'd be better if it didn't happen to you at all. :(
But it all depends on the person.

[Something-Witty]

Sexual abuse survivor checking in.
I've never really had serious consuelling, mostly becuase until about a year and half ago I didnt tell anybody who I would let help me.

I think it's the sort of thing you have to come to terms with and deal with yourself, as well as how it affects your sexuality.
The thing I find wierd is that people don't think I can have a normal sex life, and think that I'm either scared of the very concept, or obbsessed.
Though it's had such long lasting effects on my life, that I can't actually imagine what I would be like if it hadn't happened. Crazy.

[System Malfunction]

I think rapists/molesters should be sentenced with having all their fingers removed and the thing down in the pants. I realize girls can do this too, but I don't know how they can fix that problem.

its hard to get passed the first little while... I know =/ but it is something that can be faught. I don't think there are any ways to help some one. They either have to stick it out and fend for themselfs or report the XXXX/molest and get as much help as they can from people who most likely haven't ever experienced it. I realize the physical pain is a complete different thing and all I can say is go to some one such as a doctor with this issue.

I don't know how to deal with 6-12 year olds.
seeing how I don't have one.

[Vampi]

Honestly?
this topic scares me.
because this idea terrifies me.

I'm really glad you're able to talk about this Aleks, and good on ya for it. The only thing someone in this position could do would be live life one day at a time, trying to make the best of the life they have.

I cannot speak from experience. And I hope I never learn. BUT: I am sympathetic to their issues, and do my best to help them as a friend, not someone looking down on them, or trying to "fix" them.

I know few who have had this done to them...at least, I know few who can talk about it, and I only aim to help.

I don't have long...good luck, Aleks: you know I love you, girlie:]

-Vampi

[Jaymee-Marie]

Me, My best friend and 2 of her little sisters, were all abused by the same person. Suppose i am kind of lucky in the sense i was going through it with someone else, we were able to speak to each other about what happened.

I have never hidden the fact i was abused to my friends at the end of the day it was 5 years ago, i have only grown stronger, what happened as made me, me.

I found out yesterday that on friday my best friend's sister(one of the one's who got abused before) was sexually assualted she is 16 now, she is also mentally disabled so she is confused as it is.

[AleksandraStar]

thanks Vampi for that,really

and you guys are right some people can get over it with a little help,but only on their own time.And i think things like that make you so much stronger,and a better person.

[Simpli*Tel]

yah, its terrible that this happens. i come from a small school, with maybe 200 high school kids, and i know of 3 people in MY class that have had the same thing happen to them. the only thing you as a friend can do is be there for them and listen to them when they have their weak moments. When BB told me what had happened...well i was surprised. i know i sounds rather cold of me, but i had my suspicions about this. it was really just the way she reacted to guys coming up to her without her knowing. but still its terrible, especially who was doing it.